You've heard it a million times, that horrible cliche, and if it has to be said, it's probably not true; "It's not you, it's me". But have you ever heard it the other way around? I actually have, but not in the sense that the original statement came from, and it's taken me a long time to realize how true it can be.
"It's not me, it's you". What I mean is, of course, in riding. This past week I've had a few mini breakthroughs with some of the horses I've been riding, and it's made me realize that sometimes you just have to wait it out, that sometimes you're not doing anything wrong- it's just taking some time for them to figure out what you're asking.
Sometimes, you need to set the ride, and stick to it. A young horse of mine used to bulge and twist and fall in and everything else you could imagine on a 20m circle, and it drove me crazy. I would get all caught up trying to fix each individual flaw- outside rein to block the shoulder, inside leg to bend his body around the circle, outside leg to keep the shape, and inside rein to get his nose just in slightly... and then repeat all steps at random intervals, as needed. It was extremely frustrating, and I could never seem to get THE perfect 20m circle with him. One day I gave up, set my body exactly how it would/should be around a 20m circle, and kept to that ride. And what happened?! He yielded and suddenly he was like a ping pong, bouncing around between my aids until he realized what he was supposed to do, and I finally got the circle I'd been looking for. All I'd needed to do was ask and wait.
Similarly, in lessons jumping young horses, I've been caught up in the push/pull, chip/long spot battle, where you can't seem to ever gain control or know what's going to happen in front of the fence, because everything is always changing.
In one instance, I was riding a huge, strong, and green baby. My coach told me to make him wait to the jumps, so I tried to keep him balanced between my hand and my leg to wait for a close distance. Instead, he took off about a stride early, and me, having been set to wait, got left behind. Never a pretty sight, right? I was embarrassed, but instead my coach said "No, that was the right ride. Come again and don't change a thing". So I did and hey! He waited! All it took was for him to not listen once and have to go through the uncomfortable event of me being left behind to realize it was better for him to not always make the decision.
"That was the right ride, do it again and don't change a thing", "put your leg on and wait", "Don't fuss, just keep your hands steady". It all means the same thing: have some confidence and some patience, because you're doing it right already, your horse just needs some time to figure it out. Sometimes it's not me, it's you :)
